Yesterday we took our youngest to the Aquarium…and I left my wheelchair in the car. Most of healing does not happen overnight, nor in big, sudden, social-media worthy shifts. Have I experienced what most people view as “miracles”? The sudden ability to walk for example, after a period of being unable to walk unassisted? (In my case due to severe …
My Body Hasn’t Always Felt Like Home
I live in a body that for much of my life has not felt like home. These days I often don’t recognize it. I’d be lying if I said I never wince at its sight. It doesn’t look like the body that I worked so hard for, so many years ago. The clothing that used to feel most comfortable, no …
6 Years Ago I Celebrated Remission, Then I Crashed.
6 years ago yesterday – July 1, 2019, I gathered with friends and family to celebrate the end of my Lyme treatment (4-5 years of it at that point) and the beginning of what we thought was remission. 6 months later my life changed drastically in many ways and I experienced a series of overlapping events (about 3.5 years of …
I couldn’t have done this 6 months ago; Reflections on Lyme disease, Complex Chronic Diseases and how far I’ve come.
Barefoot on the earth, morning sun on my face, chicory and dandelion “cappuccino” in hand, bees in the flowers – all things I’m grateful for this morning. This moment had me reflecting on the early days of my health journey when I was first diagnosed with Lyme disease and co-infections in my early 20’s. A lot of my dialogue around …
Getting curious – Can you meet yourself where you are, wherever that may be?
Incomplete stress responses, reacting vs responding, expanding your window of tolerance, and welcoming yourself home. An invitation to get curious and allow exactly where you are, to be enough at this time. Getting curious: – how often do you run from discomfort? – are you able to be in the present moment or does your anxiety, rumination, to-do lists, etc., …
I used to…
I used to scream or drop to the floor crying when someone walked in the room unexpectedly. I used to carry constant tension in my body. I used to go for massages and feel the RMT’s arms shaking from the pressure they were using and I still couldn’t feel it. I have very few childhood memories. I used to live …
I heard myself in another Mother today
I heard myself in another mother at the beach today. The gentle but firm, almost cautious tone.The endless listening as her child did not respond to her questions but continued to share the internal mental dialogue that was running in his mind.The timers, and gentle reminders.The carefully expressed, calculated front loading.The patience and softness in her heart as it was …
Baptized by Nature
I woke today with a call from my soul. It was time to be baptized, again, by nature.The tide was not on my sideButThe earth, she still holds me when water can’t.The sand, she still grounds me; and the energy of the tide going outWater returning to her sourceWith it, it pulls what is ready to be released from me …
A Love Letter to My Illnesses (and Body)
This is not a letter of martyrdom, but of radical responsibility. For the choices I did and did not make and the actions I did not take. Although I understand that we operate in systems, families, communities, and everyone plays a role that impacts the other, this is my responsibility to own – and doing so, empowers me. I’m sorry. …
Massive Transformation is Happening Now – are you experiencing it?
I experienced a massive transformation last night. That’s the thing about transformation – it really can happen in an instant. Simultaneously I understand that its not just that instant. It is a cumulative effect of so many different factors coming together at once and saying, “it’s time”. I had been receiving a lot of messages recently like blue butterflies, lady …
